The unfortunate truth of dating is:

The unfortunate truth of dating is:


The unfortunate truth of dating is: when people find someone they know will make their own lives better/ the vast majority want to own that life; and will do whatever it takes, to make that happen. Regardless of the cost that will come later on.

LOVE IS, THE GREATEST TREASURE in our universe! While human animals do not greatly respond to love; even other types of life can know what love is. The human animal wants what it wants/ and knows what it does not want; and tries as is pride, to take what it can; from wherever it finds the power to do so. The most common chain is: pregnancy. Used most effectively by female/ men try it too; thereby “I own you now”.

So the reality is: among those who are at least trying to be human alive in truth/ you cannot blame them for the desire to love. But it does require an ascent from where you are; into the realm of trust, that leaves all other forms of life and living behind. Few accomplish it; fear takes control. But then comes the battle; which is: if I will not come up to you/ then you must come down to me. A reality that never ends well; and always ends with heartbreak; “now or later”. Because love knows, what truth is. Change comes; rebuilding comes; realities measured by cost will come; the consequences of trust will come; and the value of what can be treasured, will be measured against what failure will mean. Truth then decides; if you own enough love inside, to “try again”.

The end result of it is: we cannot own each other/ it is vile and unworthy of life. Therefore only true love shapes a destiny, where we may join as one; to become even more than life itself: “as I” can be. You cannot save the other, that too is wrong; they must save themselves/ respect the battle, but do not surrender yourself.

Know that sex is addictive, and that makes the animal want to release the chemicals inside. But animal lust is not love/ nor is it desire. Lust merely uses your body/ your life, to release their chemicals. Making you, merely a possession they want to use for sex. Once you give in to sex, by any limit or in any form; you cannot close that door again/ they will stand in the door demanding, crying, threatening, etc. But the unfortunate truth of mental health is: some will need sex (I am accepted with value) to survive. As life takes away what they wanted. Just understand: these too, now hold that door open, and refuse to close it. While the reality of depression is: without want, you need not be depressed; so it is up to them, to decide life is more important than what they want. It is not up to you, “JESUS” saved the world: by proving the difference between love and hate/ by allowing each life that chooses love itself, an opportunity to gain and search for “eternal life”. Every miracle is evidence: life is more, than we know.

The reality of dating is then: without sex to interfere, we search for friends as may be found first within respect; and then by the degree of their truth. Beyond that is the definitions of sharing and caring. Beyond that is the disciplines (I accept the responsibility of body)/ the value of order (I accept the dignity of justice, the value of law)/ the intensity of balance (as found in respect, for both the genetic realities every child does need, an the courtesy of a life, that is alive within self). Shaped by the question of “are you ready”; the honesty of marriage, becomes our hope.

The question of who: “fits my life/ our lives as one”? Is determined by the rhythm of our lives. There is no “we finish each others sentences (that is a fight for superiority)/ no love at first sight; but there can be rhythms we share (a value is here)/ there is no relationship without respect/ no purpose or desire of love, without truth.

to a boy, the penis is a toy (nothing bad can happen)/ to an animal, the penis is a drug delivery device, and can become a weapon. To a man being alive, is the honor of growing up, to accept, that knowing “sexuality is by the grace of  GOD  a value which cannot be respected enough; unless love takes control”;  where the heart and soul find a home.  The woman, and man; is a miracle  to be shared,  and the value of sharing time as equals, can be intensified by accepting the responsibility, to insure we BOTH, earn and receive, the happiness we desire.” Sexually equal, not a tool or a property to be used. Life says: equal, not same: the dignity of balancing each as if one. Romance says: caring proves respect has value in me and to me.

Life offers: that it is necessary to construct a bit more regarding male sexuality. The difference between boy and man is: boy equals penis toy/ while man equals, the foundation is built, to understand “miracles offer more”, to those who respect each other as male and female intimately joined, with honor. The critical passage between boy and man is: to remove the addiction; I found the simplest way for boy; “push the penis back down/ thereby teaching: I AM in control, never you”. The most critical test: understand the cost of failure is, truth is truth, and cannot be undone/ so beware, and refuse anything that is not true to love shared for value by respect. Never look at what you cannot have/ it is a trap. Never forget, “the maker of miracles”; will know. Never forget, LOVE is the greatest treasure of all; and the search for romance shapes the desire of your heart. Romance is never “your decision alone”. Instead, the beating heart sings with joy; and you know life has begun; or it is not; more than friendship. Do not give away your heart to lies:  trust alone binds; and only truth founded in respect; can give you that. It is true, that sometimes relationships end; because the future no longer lives to share, in one or both. The greatest cause, “you did not care enough/ or, I simply had to move on”: life demanded it.  never forget, “a lifetime/ is a lifetime”; no small decision.

Instead of want, pride or power;  the life we can share is dependent upon our choices to care: about what you need/ and you about what I need. Existence is not a game, and death proves time will end for us all. Participation in work or living; are defined by what reality will prove that means, to each of us. Sharing the work is elementally honest. But what it means to you; is entirely dependent upon love/ or not: “honest, or what”?

as for me, life has become so intertwined:  with the spiritual woman inside/ who joined me by surprise 17+ years ago; when I needed balance and hope for life on earth to go on. I have no idea how dating for me, would turn out: women only may try; “its complicated”. Since to your shame, I need to keep repeating: not gay or other/ I will add: NO element of sexual anything, with me and a child has ever existed;  just to be clear, evidence is collected “among you”.   While there is value in sharing, there is responsibilities as well; dating is not a game, and there are no trophies to be won/ no toys to play with/ no trinkets to buy; in order to win your heart or mine. Because pride does not fit into dating;  that is an indication of trouble ahead, a cost that is coming. Sex can easily turn into a power struggle; so avoid it, until sure. Critical knowledge is:  beware of any man who does not honestly and truly respect and identify with your child (as so many have these days)/ because if they see them as extra’s; and stay. Then they will conceive of and find a way to “make them pay back their cost”; because that is what animals do. Usually demanding sex, when you don’t see. the cost of that can be very high, to a child; in many far reaching ways. One of which is; “your child, while believing initially; will then learn never to trust again; that may even extend to playing with other children/ and that can extend for decades, or life; in all manner and ways”. If you think they will tell you: the enemy will tell them: BE AFRAID, or die.  But reality will prove to that enemy: that now a witness has been made; which can send them to prison/ and some then do die. NEVER try to force “a man/ animal”; to learn to get along with your child: you cannot force love/ IT EXISTS, OR IT DOES NOT. Simple as that, let truth decide/ DO NOT lie to yourself; BE fair. BE FAIR in other ways too:  don’t lie to get pregnant/ don’t get pregnant to prove you can/ Children are NOT trophies or toys! You can’t “gift wrap them up” and give them to someone else. BE HONEST. And remember this as truth:  NOTHING is fair about war/ and ONLY TRUTH is fair in love.

The point being: do not fear dating, as is the intent of media; with endless violence, mayhem, chaos, visual catastrophe’s to think about;  “all of it”. Love is easy, when people are honest; but that does not mean marriage. Love is love, and happiness is easy to accept. Reality however requires that marriage; is different than love the easy way (we are happy). Marriage is a commitment to time spent with you and me, as one relationship that is not intended to end; sharing that time with a purpose beyond you OR me. Marriage then requires:  that our “one life purpose or desire” should be at least similar to each other in dimension (how much life, will this take) and definition (is there room for anyone else)?  If not, marriage will be hard, and may die; even if love does not.  Honesty knows: do not judge/ do not assume/ do not demand: love is a gift, and it must be shared as that gift which becomes caring for each other. Life however is surviving our living, and choosing as best we can; the destiny we do care about as one. Do you see the difference; as you get older you will.  Desire hopes, love displays that hope as happiness; and we become “the rhythm shared by our hearts beating as one”; as is romance proven true.

INSTEAD, be aware. Do not be over cautious, or cynical: assume the best, but with honest truth. Meet as many people as you safely can, because you never know; where or when “the right person” will be found. Use your heart, not your eyes; but be honest, and if pregnancy can occur, “a child will  be required to endure, what you chose”.  If pregnant: reality states, nearly all birth defects are the result of chemical contamination in one form or another: so don’t take anything/ don’t use anything/ be cautious as best you can be; but know, in this world toxic chemicals are everywhere. And the sewer rats are adding chaos to genetic nature. I suggest you PRAY; the body is an extremely important tool, for all life and living.

Do your best when living and working; why be less than you are. Be very careful around anyone else’s children; and if you cannot or will not stay, “be distant enough”, not to let them depend upon you. Sex is an opening door (to the bedroom), that is extremely hard to close; they won’t let you, “locks and chains” so to speak. Fully expecting whatever has been given before:  UNDERSTAND THAT, before you enter into anything. Being aware of sexual disease is mandatory, even if tragic; and we do all make mistakes: best you can, simple as that.  There is NO relationship, UNLESS there is HONEST respect; proven true. There is no love, unless you share honestly, and care about each other equally. There is no romance, unless freedom “is for equals”/ and we choose to spend that truth as one. There is no sexual tension;  unless life proves you choose each other; for more than lust: as is I want to use your body, “get your life, out of my way”.   Want is always an animal, not a destiny.

remember this:  that throughout the decades, I talked to many people without success/ even when they knew it was important. Because unlike the majority, I forgot how much you worship “presentation of appearance”/ and never cared. Ending with:  you should have listened, because the evidence proves me true. However, it is clear; that I should have taken some precautions to simply not be PREJUDGED, for a lack of “pretty”.  A young man said to me once: “he didn’t feel any different dressing up for church/ than making it everyday” (so he was right).  However, my version of that is: you were not dressing up for the people in church; but the intent of respect, for   GOD  ; as is, doing so little as that is. Finding a mate, does require some effort, and acceptance of the price we do need to pay. Accepting “weight goes up and down” for many; is a reality, consistent with happiness. Not really much different, than a man who doesn’t shave; “within reason”. a footnote:  my ex-wife (2 years/ no kids) once said to me, “your beard is like rough sandpaper”/ and rubbed my arm against those whiskers; which proved her point.  But alas, although my intentions were good; I did not take that to heart: something to remember,   “ex” stands for we failed each other/ and there were reasons why. “lots of them”, unfortunately.

I think:  that reality can need our lives to change; if the cause is great enough. Marriage requires time/ and all my time was needed for this work. As life proved that to be true. Children require more work, and money; which would have ended this work, as reality knows “love is free/ but life is not”.  Even so:  an entire world cannot be surrendered, without a fight. I do not regret the time spent, or costs.  But if you had listened, or cared: beyond the screams of I WANT/  then; _________!  Eat enough to have energy for sex. Share enough sexually, to build a bridge between hearts (I do care). Work enough for a living/ but don’t forget time for sharing: help each other, its important. Don’t spend, don’t judge;  so that work, realities, and debt don’t consume your lives. Have two bank accounts; to keep it simple; if you need it.  Having a baby is a decision TWO PEOPLE should make/ NOT one, as in now your are stuck; respect each other, play with each other as freedoms allow/ but DON’T play with life or living, it is too important;  and truth will divide.

LOVE IS PRECIOUS, and when you give it to someone else:  they then become the owners of that love!  And unless they “give love back honestly”/ you may have lost what is precious and true to your own life; which is heartbreak. if you find love, it was worth the price: simple and plain. But if you don’t; life is worth the risk, but be true to yourself first.

As for me: my ex-wife and I, had timing and grace at the beginning of our relationship, proving love had a chance here/ making time disappear, as the value of her company increased. “nothing more than kissing” was involved. But it was the living that got in the way, I intended to fight for this world/ and she wanted to be like all the rest. Which divided our futures: and then it all went bad, as time progressed: her desperate to control/ I, determined not to make another girl cry. When she turned to manipulation by sex, and the rest; intending to remake me, as she wanted me to be/ instead of who I am. But that was the damage and destruction, of “me”; until I said NO more. Realizing, love will not fix this/ and even if I change, it is no longer me; as would be necessary to become someone else; which she did not want either. She wanted what she wanted, and I could not give that: my heart belonged to “this world shall not be lost without a fight”/ and she could not join me in that either; it scared her. So we divorced; after way too much trying for us both. Time teaches me: “had I been love divided”/ I would never have been able to come far enough, to complete this work. So, I accept; it was all needed; ear trouble isolated me to the work; as was needed too. Sometimes, love is not enough, you must live the reality of your choice. a caveat: at the initial separation of love: to understand if we could live as one/ she did not allow that. but if she had, love may have drawn me back. The end result however; produced the life I have lived; with regard to female. Work alone, after finally giving up on the cost of relationships; I could not control as love. The living is required first; no world/no life/ no love. I do hope, you find that of some use. Nonetheless, without true love to guide you: there is no hope in being alive, to share our future. Never let that be lost. Spiritual female bonded to me; in order to achieve this work being finished; by balancing life, retaining hope. The essence of truth, turned into a living law. While purity in me is limited; time is where we choose our destiny/ best we can.

Which is now an oddity for me:  as realities have shifted. Instead of searching the concept of soul/ I have turned inside, to construct the intensities of heart.  Laws have changed for me/ every thing; has changed; “its complicated.  Believe it or not; as returning to time, “surrendering hope for this world”/ is not allowed.  I am required to live:  the  opposite view, where hope remains; and male is NOT allowed in a truly female world. I don’t know if there is such a law; “its not my world”, so to speak? While you will believe whatever you believe; I will tell you simply, the prediction of Revelation 12 in the bible/ has come true in me. “the woman seen standing on the moon (something foreign)/ is standing on me”. Its complicated;  but, I have delivered to this world a new life, as predicted; and whatever is left for me; is honestly unknown. Other than the prediction of Revelation 17;  “woman of royalty” riding on a beast (man)/ I can tell you; she has control.  So, reality to me/ delusion to you;  is not my concern. I did my job;  don’t know the ending.  Simply hoping, for us all. NOT allowed to do more;  “there must be a sign of life” in you as a world, before that can be. Love does not allow, for less. It is far too precious to spend, on those who refuse to care.

The lesson of life is

That hate teaches the value of love, by the price/ the violence of their failures. While love teaches the discipline, order, and balance of living within truth, as respect identifies a relationship, and creates the value of our lives shared, because you chose to care.

Into that realm of discovery, come dating between male and female, as we resolve to understand ourselves, based upon the interactions of what is “an alternate view” of life itself.

The core essence of male is: to search for life, by expanding the disciplines of value, to experience the essence of this entire universe, confronts me with the passion of space, beyond time. It is conceptually, the relationship within an elevation called soul.

The core essence of female is: to search for life by condensing the values of life, into the expression of feelings. Which are at its conceptual elevation; the discovery of heart; as is, where the rhythms of life originate, and intensify to define the elevation of love as a participation beyond self. Conceived by hope, but born of the passion to share life, by living its expressions with joy.

Within the elements of human time; we find that instead of ascending into the greater elevations of being alive; as miracles conceive of life. The constant descent of humanity is then linked to the tragedy of people assaulting each other, again and again and again. which makes the rise of a child; the struggle to become self; not herd. But that is the essence of time: born in a world of animals/ unless we rise above that, as thought beyond the limits of time understands the concept of a miracle (GOD is real) and grants our existence, as a participation in HIS world. Failure means: you have accepted want as your essence, and the herd as your family.

The summary of that is: from the youngest child, every form of interaction with the others; creates the foundation upon which you build your own relationships with life. If self forms from miracles; your life will become alive. But if self forms from animals, then your life will become a participation either as predator or prey. Because the end result of living is: how you allow yourself to think/ what you allow yourself to believe/ and who do you judge, becomes the battleground of “a voice inside (believe/ fear/ obey: cult)”, which attempts to lead. In today’s world, university is that voice; and it attempts to enslave, with claims of superiority; same as the cult above.

The foundation of human behavior, is intensified: at puberty. Because the values and conceptual change from being “same/ with differences”; between female and male! Now becomes altered “by a different view, that is not the same” differences intensified. The critical construction, for male is: the penis is suddenly “a, good toy”. But it hides a fatal flaw: that the intensity of emotion in its release of fluid, is addictive. And addiction holds no element of love/ it is only want. Therefrom the toy becomes a tool to achieve want/ and want becomes the judge, which then decides: if you are judged worthless, to me/ I can do with you whatever I want. That critical trail of destruction; requires about 3 weeks to unravel: confronting the boy with realities that lend itself to man! Those who recognize the penis is NO TOY; are then compelled to organize and control it, and never underestimate those chemicals again. Those who fail to understand, the severity of the lesson: use (the toy), abuse (abuse the chemicals), rape (the value of sex), ravage (the body as lust), ruin (the intensity of love), curse (the passion of hope), and fail (with addiction, judgment, violence, and insanity) both life and woman and GOD. Stand on the edge of hate, if not below.

The elemental conception of woman, within the relationship of puberty is unknown to me. However what I have been taught is: the vulnerability inherent with the female body/ the passion of feelings which erupt do to the female body/ the critical expressions, which include loneliness, needs, vital hopes, and elemental definitions which align with love. Do not suffer the cost of male addictions, well. You cheat them, with a game. They then manipulate you in return. But those found worthy, are deliberately chained; so you will not leave.

That then becomes the elemental path called dating.

To rise above it; requires both heart and soul to unite as miracles honor living, with sharing and caring; through the essence of love. To respect each other with values shaped from truth. To bond with the honor of trust formed by truth. To hold within passion, the creation of an intensity beyond self, where we enter the soul as hearts joined. To give birth: to an equality of freedom, shared without restraint; because discipline, order, and balance shape our lives as one.

Anything less is “animal”/ or still searching to rise.

More distinctly: “you cannot walk with me”/ unless you can rise above the realities of what humanity expects. Behaviors are fundamental to animals, rather than human. The intensity of disciplines, the purity of order, the balance of heart; are all elements designed to be hidden; unless you are willing to step outside the herd. By letting value rather than vision; determine your way.

To be alive, beyond the limits of time: requires that you participate in thought/ not intellect (I prove, I win). The difference is reality proves truth. Respect proves relationships. Love constructs the rhythm of hearts that share, the construct of care. These are choices, each can make. LIFE is not a competition/ and neither is eternity. IT EXISTS, or it does not. Laws decide.

Noted: emotion is the means and decision to participate outside of the herd (where protection is)/ this requires a dedication to order, and a discipline to values. Balancing that in a world of animals requires courage/ but the reality of it lends to an uneasiness characteristic of women in their construction of life. Drama is the opposite effect of demanding to return to the inside of the herd, to be protected from harm. That requires accepting the price your herd demands. Men pursue the existence of self, by learning self defense, and enabling strength to participate in courage. But can fail the courage needed due to the reality of weapons. So they worship weapons, and in the end create war (the army of predators) because of weapons. It DOES take more courage to be a “woman outside” / than a man. To their shame, men fail respect.

The consequence of being protected by the herd “of women”/ is you are not truly available to men; that they might get to know you. The cost of being available to men, outside the herd is: they can’t protect you; that leads to emotion (safe/ not safe). Some never step outside/ some do, and pay a cost/ most step outside, only if they find a man they are willing to gamble on. Thereby “becoming sexy”; as is, “ain’t NO doubt, to anyone” WOMAN is here. For those left behind: men see tits, and think woman; not sex, not mine; all that is left, for me. But they fail to look around; because other women do exist; and most are willing. UNLESS, the “female herd” says; bad idea.

So, the majority of men understand: we have to be willing to pay; or women will stay away. Which is why men want to be rich: because women want rich. But it is no guarantee; so they turn to toys, trophies, and games; the drama of men! But even these cannot buy happiness, without friends/ and reality states; if you are going to be rich/ then you are going to make those you know; poor. Can’t be rich: unless you make others poor; its the price. Being rich however, can buy you “friends and sex”; which offers an alternate means of content with what I got. “let the games begin”.

So, the basic reality of animal dating is: to make men want to date you by being sexy “a trophy, and a toy; with trinkets”; they can play with. Men know: I must present something they want to shop for/ and do the best they can. Women, willing to take a chance: then offer sex to the men they want to retain, which is a chain, that says your mine now/ until I let you go. But male animals take sex to be; your mine now/ until I let you go. And the war for control begins/ or the fight to remove this problem is incurred. Animal sex is: male does what he wants to do, and then says “thanks/ great time; lets do it again soon”. While female being unresponsive to being used “quickly”/ begins to plot about what CAN I get from you; if not pleasure?

HUMAN ALIVE; is different, and allows that life and living are about happiness, for both. Describing a relationship by the respect being offered in truth. Trusting each other is a bond, built upon truth. Even sharing bodies with care; brings commitment “when ready”. While the reality of sex, beyond the chemicals: is to reach as one union of honored friendship, searches for the joy of sharing “hearts and souls” as one. THAT, requires us, to share the experience, with the value I bring to you/ you to me; as love shaping truth.

The heartache of exchanging sex; without love. Is the same as animals exchanging sex for lust: no real love exists. Which means; no real friendship exists. Which means whatever love you do share, will be lost. The cost includes: animals judge. Being judged, leads to abuse, violence, and worse.

You have been told.

You are responsible, “for the damage you have done, to any other person”; love is not a game, there are consequences. Some reach into old age. You are responsible; IF your decision, impacts another life; and costs GOD an eternity, with someone who loved.

Unfortunately romance, is at this time unwise; because the thirst for someone who has love, is massive; and unless you can stay. This choice simply brings tears/ and spends time away from finding someone who will stay.

Unfortunately, sex is addictive; and that leads to all manner of complications. One such complication is: that love established by sex; can heal a broken heart/ BUT ONLY if you are willing to stay. Otherwise it adds to the problem, unless suicide or real depression “is close by”.

Graciously: we are the answer “male to female”, that we each do need to find. Meet as many as you realistically can; because you never know who you will find, “in the crowd”; of people you meet. Always be fair. Always let truth decide, not want. Always be kind, but not overdone: because making enemies, or being considered “the answer” is not wise.

Reality proves true: don’t be too much more than anyone else/ it brings out jealousy. Which brings all manner of trouble with it. Be honest with yourself, and your money, and your debt; or trouble will come.

If you do not want, replacing that with life itself: then you will not be depressed about the things you want, that you cannot have. That is over.

Understand: we all have a friend inside if you are alive/ as is your own male or female body. Life exists within thought, by its energy of participation. The body exists as a recognition of male OR female, by its energy of participation: they are not the same. But each form of life can meet. It is not “a voice” inside; as that is merely what society teaches you to believe of life and self.

Choose your own identity; with your own choices. By understanding what is true, in you. Never choose to be someone else; you cannot. Be who you are, or change; before you die. Because “death: seals the book” on you.

Just a note: WHY, paper yourself with wall paper/ as is a tattoo. Nature made you beautiful/ but everything the human animals do; particularly in university genetics seeks to take that away. DON’T help them!

author avatar
Jim Osterbur
REALITY PROVES: YOU CANNOT BUILD LIFE "ONE PIECE AT A TIME"/ got a heart, you need blood; and everything else. ONLY THOUGHT can build life; "miracle/ not chaos"! Life shares its moments with time; but only truth shares its existence with eternity. Without love, life dies and eternity fades away. But every miracle of life as is every life without exception proves love. Jesus proves love, and invites those who do love into eternity; by their decision to respect: I accept. Not because of religion; but the evidence of love in both miracles and the choice he made to identify we do have a choice: to love/ or to hate. everything in between that is merely want; and want is behaviors "of an animal". I did do, what I did do; for life and world/ everything else is up to you. THE EVIDENCE OF OUR WORLD; demands, we will go extinct without true change. "This site" conceives of REDRESS, our first amendment legal right to decide for ourselves/ as the solution we need to investigate, and prove what is true. BEFORE it is simply too late now.

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